Jeff Ellis: It's Impossible To Start A Fire If You Have No Desire To Burn

Oscars, Part Four

9:35 -- Sandra Bullock gives the award for Best Cinematography, which goes to Avatar. 

9:40 -- James Taylor is out on stage to play his brand of music as we have the montage of the dead.  Whenever I see Taylor, I always wonder if he remembers beating up Carly Simon.

9:45 -- Strangely, the audience seemed rather restrained during the death montage.  Not even Michael Jackson got much applause.

9:48 -- I'm going to take a quick nap.  Wake me up whenever another award is given out.

9:54 -- Oh, Up just won best score.  It had a cute score.  Goodnight.

9:56 -- Avatar wins Best Visual Effects.  Yawn.

10:00 -- I am on the verge of giving up.  This has been the most boring Oscars in recent memory.

Jeff's Imaginary 2009 Oscar Nominations

As previously promised, here are my own personal 2009 Oscar nominations.  Again, these are not necessarily the films and performers that I expect to see nominated on Tuesday.  Instead, there are my own personal preferences.  These are the Oscar nominees (and winners) if Jeff was solely responsible for selecting them.  Obviously, this means that I limited my choices only to the eligible films that I've actually seen.  For example, I have yet to see either The Last Station or The Messengerand, as a result, probable nominees such as Helen Mirren and Woody Harrelson were not considered for these imaginary Oscars.

A list of the eligible films that I did see (along with a short review of each) can be found here.

My nominees for 2007 can be found here while 2008 can be found by clicking here.

And now, on to the Imaginary 2009 Academy Award nominations!

(The winner in each category are preceded by an asterisk and are listed in bold type.)

Best Picture

Adventureland

Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans

District 9

An Education

The Hangover

The Informant!

Inglorious Basterds

*A Serious Man

Up in the Air

Where the Wild Things Are

Yes, that's right.  No Avatar.  NoInvictus.  No Hurt Locker.  No Precious.  These films, which undoubtedly will receive nomination on Tuesday, have all helped to make 2009 the year of the overrated movie.  It's sad that even with 10 nominees, it appears that the Academy is again on the verge of ignoring the best films of the year.  As for my own Oscars, the award goes to A Serious Man with An Education, Up in the Air, District 9, and Inglorious Basterds as very close runner-ups.

Best Actor

Jeff Bridges for Crazy Heart

Nicolas Cage for Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans

Matt Damon for The Informant!

Jeremy Renner for The Hurt Locker

*Sam Rockwell for Moon

For me, the best actor race comes down to Cage and Rockwell with Rockwell ultimately winning because, if for no other reason, he has never truly received the recognition he deserves.

Best Actress

Sasha Grey for The Girlfriend Experience

*Carey Mulligan for An Education

Saoirse Ronan for The Lovely Bones

Maya Rudolph for Away We Go

Gabourey Sidibe for Precious

Five great performances but honestly, it's really no contest.  Mulligan wins in a walk.

Best Supporting Actor

Christian McKay for Me and Orson Welles

*Peter Sarsgaard for An Education

Paul Schneider for Bright Star

Christoph Waltz for Inglorious Basterds

George Wyner for A Serious Man

I was tempted to give the award to the unheralded Wyner, who delivers a very compelling monologue about halfway through A Serious Manand is exactly the type of character actor who, in a perfect world, would be regularly awarded for his work.  However, in the end, I have to give the award to Sarsgaard as the charmingly immoral older man who seduces Carey Mulligan in An Education.

Best Supporting Actress

*Vera Farminga for Up In The Air

Anna Kendrick for Up In The Air

Melanie Laurent for Inglorious Basterds

Mo'Nique for Precious

Rosamund Pike for An Education

Farminga wins because she managed to take a role that, at first glance, seems to be a pure fantasy and turns that fantasy into a real, vulnerable human being.

Best Director

Joel and Ethan Coen for A Serious Man

Werner Herzog for Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans

Jason Reitman for Up in the Air

Lone Scherfig for An Education

*Quentin Tarantino for Inglorious Basterds

I'm tempted to just declare a five-way tie but ultimately, I have to give the imaginary Oscar to Tarantino.  Inglorious Basterds represents his best work since Pulp Fictionand, honestly, it's hard to think of any other filmmaker who could have made the film work anywhere near as well as he did.  Forget Brad Pitt and Christoph Waltz.  Tarantino is the true star of Inglorious Basterds.

Best Original Screenplay

Adventureland

Funny People

The Hangover

Inglorious Basterds

*A Serious Man

Again, it's tough to pick just one winner but ultimately, I have to go with A Serious Man with both Adventureland and The Hangover tied for second place.

Best Adapted Screenplay

District 9

An Education

The Informant!

*Up in the Air

Where the Wild Things Are

It's hard to choose between District 9, An Education, and Up in the Air.  In the end, Up in the Air wins because it surprised me more consistently than any of the other nominees.

Best Editing

District 9

*The Hangover

Inglorious Basterds

A Serious Man

Up in the Air

The Hangover wins here because so much of good movie comedy is a matter of perfect timing.  And The Hangover had perfect timing throughout.

Best Cinematography

The Hurt Locker

Inglorious Basterds

The Road

*A Serious Man

Where the Wild Things Are

And the winner is ... A Serious Man.

Best Art Direction

*Adventureland

District 9

An Education

Inglorious Basterds

The Young Victoria

The award goes to Adventureland for not only making us believe that Adventureland existed but also making us regret that we never got a chance to visit it.

Best Sound Mixing

2012

Avatar

*District 9

The Hurt Locker

A Single Man

District 9 is, for me, the obvious winner here.

Best Sound Editing

Avatar

District 9

*The Hurt Locker

Sherlock Holmes

Star Trek

I was not a huge fan of The Hurt Locker but at its best, it did leave you feeling as if death was lurking behind every corner.  It was a movie in which you felt as if you not only had to watch every shadow but you had to listen for every footstep.  That's why it wins the Imaginary Oscar.

Best Costume Design

Me and Orson Welles

Nine

Public Enemies

A Serious Man

*Where The Wild Things Are

Where the Wild Things Are wins for not only faithfully recreating the Wild Things but also for allowing the Wild Things themselves to truly become unique characters.

Best Original Score

An Education

*The Informant!

Invictus

A Single Man

Where the Wild Things Are

The Informant's deceptively jaunty score was almost as important a character as Matt Damon.

Best Visual Effects

Avatar

*District 9

The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus

Star Trek

Watchmen

What?  No Avatar?  Look, Avatar will win the real Oscar.  For my imaginary Oscars, I'd rather reward films that aren't, essentially, crap.  Add to that, District 9 accomplishes the same thing as Avatar (i.e. making us believe that the aliens on screen are real) and it does it without a whole lot of "look-at-me!" showing off.  That's why, in my world at least, the winner is District 9.

Best Makeup

District 9

The Imagnarium of Dr. Parnassus

The Road

Star Trek

*Zombieland

The award goes to Zombieland because I just like the idea of Zombieland being enshrined forever in the history of the Academy Awards.

Best Original Song

"Cinema Italiano" from Nine

*"Running Out of Empty (Making a Home For Ourselves)" from Lymelife

"Smoke Without Fire" from An Education

"Stu's Song" from The Hangover

"The Weary Kind" from Crazy Heart

Traditionally, the Best Song category seems to honor the worst, most bombastic songs possible and I imagine that this year's Oscar will go to whatever it was that Leona Lewis was singing at the end of Avatar.  However, in my world, the Oscar will go the the haunting theme song from Lymelife.  Incidentally, I was originally planning on nominating U2's Winter from Brothers but, honestly, I could not bring myself to give any nominations to that terrible movie.  For that reason, I nominated Stu's Song from The Hangover instead.  Besides, who wouldn't want to see Ed Helms performing that at the ceremony?

The Person Of The Year

Time Magazine has announced their "Person Of The Year."

A lot of us thought (and were dreading that possibility) that Time would slavishly give the title to Barack Obama.

Well, amazingly enough, Time did not jump at another excuse to put Barack Obama on the cover.

But seriously -- Ben Bernacke?

Perhaps the only thing positive thing that Bernacke has brought to this year is evidence that occasionally, Republican senators can find common ground with Bernie Sanders.  Sen. Sanders, the only self-acknowledged socialist in the U.S. Senate, has recently joined with conservative Republicans Jim Bunning and Jim DeMint in opposing Bernacke's nomination to another four years in charge of the Fed.

Honestly, the person of the year was Michael Jackson.  His death and the subsequent circus that has surrounded it has come to represent the current state of the world.  If 2009 played like a heavy-handed satire, nothing was more heavy-handed than the death of Michael Jackson.

Triumph of the Will

I watched a bit of the Michael Jackson Memorial Service at the Staples Center in Los Angeles.  It was a uniquely American spectacle in that it managed to be touching, horrifying, and mind-numbingly predictable all at the same time.

One has to wonder if anyone outside of the world of Media and Media-junkies really cared.

Farrah Fawcett, R.I.P.

Two pop cultural icons died today -- actress Farrah Fawcett and the self-declared "King of Pop" Michael Jackson.  As of right now, Jackson is commanding the majority of attention.  A lot of this is due to the fact that Jackson's death was unexpected whereas Fawcett had been battling cancer for more than a year now.  Fawcett's death was expected.

There's a lot that can be said about the strange and disturbing life of Michael Jackson.  Unfortunately, very little of it is positive and quite frankly, it's nothing that really needs to be discussed within the hours of his (or anyone else's) death.  This is the time for Jackson's family to mourn and they deserve to have this time (as any family would) before one considers the exact path that may have led to Jackson's death.

So, I am going to take this time to remember Farrah Fawcett because, unfortunately, she's already being forgottenand overshadowed.  There was nothing in Fawcett's early career that gave any indication that she would eventually become one of the better actresses working in American television and film.  She made her film debut with an insipid role in an insipid movie, 1970's Myra Breckenridge.  A few years later, she had either the luck or misfortune to end up as the break-out star of Charlie's Angels.  It's always tempting to cite Charlie's Angels as a TV show that was exactly what it claimed to be, just an hour a pretty girls and campy fun.  Unfortunately, that's really not true.  Charlie's Angels was, even for its time, an amazingly insipid show and the reruns, other than when being played in the background during a Butthole Surfers concert, are dull to the point of being unwatchable.  It was during this time that Farrah posed for the famous pin-up that decorated every boy's bedroom in the 70s.  It was also during this time that she appeared in a small role in Logan's Run, a flawed but enjoyable sci-fi film.

Simply on the basis of this early work, one might be justified in dismissing Farrah Fawcett as an actress.  Indeed, when Farrah left Charlie's Angels, most people assumed that she would be forgotten.  And, at first, it seemed that she would be.  Then, she appeared in a devastating TV movie entitled The Burning Bed.  The Burning Bed was based on a true story about an abused woman who ended up burning her lout of a husband alive as he lay in bed.  Playing an abused, victimized woman, Fawcett brought an appealing earthiness to the role that she was never allowed to show in her previous glamour roles. 

After the Burning Bed, Fawcett was a regular presence in TV movies and occasionally appeared in film.  She gave another shattering performance as another victimized woman in the film version of Extremitiess.  The film itself is a bit of trial to sit through but Fawcett gave one of her best performances. 

However, to me, Fawcett's best performance was as Robert Duvall's unfaithful yet undeniably sympathetic wife in The Apostle.  If there was ever a performance that should have won an Academy Award nomination for Farrah Fawcett, it was this one.

Farrah Fawcett, R.I.P.

My favorite exploitation trailers -- Part 1 (Ms. 45, An American Hippie in Israel, The House On The Edge of the Park, Cannibal Holocaust, and a film with a title I can't bring myself to say)

As I've mentioned many times on this blog, I love the exploitation films and grindhouse cinema of the 70s and early 80s. The only thing I love more than a sleazy, subversive exploitation film is a trailer for a sleazy, subversive exploitation film. Even more so than with mainstream films, exploitation trailers tended to give you the best scenes of the film without any of the unnecessary filler. Exploitation trailers, as well, had the task of convincing potential filmgoers to pay money to see movies that they knew would never live up to even the lowest of expectations. As such, exploitation film trailers developed a personality all their own. They became the equivalent of the sweaty carnival barker who, disgusting as his exterior may be, still knew how to talk the talk.

I've spent the past two days searching through the videos of YouTube and I've managed to find twenty of my personal favorites. I'll be posting these trailers on this site over the next couple of days.

A quick warning: Some of these trailers contain material that could be considered offensive by some. Indeed, quite a few actually violate YouTube's terms of service and it wouldn't surprise me if the majority are removed from the site over the next week.

(Between the time I first started looking and the time I started writing this post, four trailers for Cannibal Holocaust were yanked off the site. I ended up embedding the fifth but I'll be surprised if it's still around a week from now.)

So, watch these trailers now while you still can but proceed with caution if you're easily offended or disturbed.

Let's start things off with a high point in both exploitation cinema and exploitation trailers -- Abel Ferrara's Ms. 45. Featuring a shattering performance from the late Zoe Tamerlis, Ms. 45 is one of the most intense (and, quite frankly, disturbing) films ever made. The trailer perfectly captures the film's bleak and claustrophobic mix of sensuality and violence.

This next trailer is for a western that features Fred Williamson as a former slave who rides into a frontier town and declares himself to be the new sheriff. I'm not going to mention the film's title for reasons that will be obvious upon watching the trailer. Those of you who remember Robert Townsend's Hollywood Shuffle will be forgiven for thinking that this is actually a parody. I can assure you that this is a real film because I've seen it. It's actually a pretty by-the-numbers western once you get over the "Did-I-Just-Hear-That?" factor but Williamson's always been an engaging screen presence and he and the late D'Urville Martin always made a good team.

This next trailer is for a film I have never actually seen. The trailer for An American Hippie In Isreal has been popping up on various DVDs for nearly a decade now yet the film itself has not actually been released. This has given the film a certain mystique that it probably does not deserve. From what I've been able to learn, the film was apparently made in the early 70s and, depending on who you ask, it is either amazingly pretentious or numbingly dull or both.

Still, whenever this film is finally released on DVD, I'll be one of the first suckers wasting his money on it. Why? The trailer kicks ass. Plus, I used to date a girl who was the daughter of a former American Hippie In Isreal. So, there's definitely a nostalgia factor at work here. That said, the film's protaganist certainly seems a bit surly (and old) for a hippie, doesn't he?

(By the way, this trailer contains some very brief female nudity. It also features a scrawny bald guy who apparently foams at the mouth at some point during the film.)

Next up, we have an extremely edited version of the trailer for The House on The Edge of the Park. In many ways, this is a truly reprehensible film. The characters are all unlikable, the finale is only shocking because it essentially makes no sense, and the film is full of scenes that are so blatantly sexist and sadistic that NOW -- if the organization had any sense of irony -- could probably use the film in much the same way that pro-marijuana groups used to use Reefer Madness. But I can't help it. I like this movie. It's a genuine guilty pleasure. The villians are played by two of my favorite genre actors -- David Hess and the great Giovanni Lombardo Radice -- and no film that features the beautiful (and actually quite talented) Lorraine De Selle can be totally worthless.

As I stated previously, this is a heavily edited version of the film's trailer (essentially, all of the nudity and some straight razor slicing has been cut out, presumably to make it YouTube acceptable). That's not really a problem. If anything, it tightens the whole thing up and, as such, it's actually a bit of an improvement on the original.

Three things to notice about this trailer. 1) Yes, it does say House Of The Park On The Edge. 2) The actual film tends to drag which is something the trailer never does. 3) The disco song that plays at the end -- Do It To Me Once More/Love Me All Night Long...oh my God! This is a terrible song but it does get stuck in your head! I eventually ended up downloading it off of Amazon.

Let's wrap up part one with one of the most controversial films of all time,Cannibal Holocaust.  Despite rumors to the contrary, no human were harmed while making this film.  However, a lot of animals were and that's what makes this such a problematic film.  In my opinion, if you ignore the scenes of the cast killing animals (the gigantic water turtle is the best known of the victims but there are plenty of others), then Cannibal Holocaust is, in its own way, one of the greatest films ever made.  Unfortunately, you really can't ignore all the animal cruelty because it was filmed and included in the film's final cut. 

Regardless of all that, this trailer is a classic.  It's also rather explicit so it wouldn't surprise me if this video gets yanked off of YouTube in the next couple of days (or hours).  This trailer also highlights one of the more unexpected strengths of Cannibal Holocaust.  For a film that often goes out of its way to be ugly, Cannibal Holocaust features a truly beautiful soundtrack. Strangely enough, the same man who created the opulent tackiness of The House on The Edge of the Park's disco theme song, Riz Ortolani, was responsible for the haunting theme music of Cannibal Holocaust. (Of course, it should also be mentioned that both films were directed by Ruggero Deodato.)

Today's Flashback

Kiss Them For Me, from Siouxsie and the Banshees.

The Wall Of Sound

 

First, O.J. Simpson gets sentenced to 33 years in prison for armed robbery (though, of course, we can guess for which crime Simpson was actually being sentenced).

Now, legendary music producer Phil Spector has been convicted of murdering actress Lana Clarkson.  Spector is now facing the prospect of spending the rest of his life in prison.

(Though quite a few people -- like me -- feel that Spector should have been put away 28 years ago for attempting to murder the Ramones with the End of the Century album.)

What this means, of course, is that out of the Trinity of 70s Celebrities Accused Of Murdering Light-Haired Women In California, only Robert Blake has so far managed to avoid prison. 

(That said, it should also be noted that out of that trio, Blake's probably the only one who was actually wrongfully accused.  Ever since Blake was first arrested, I was always a member of the "Christian-Brando-Did-It" contigent.)

Is it possible that we are now entering an age where celebrities actually can be convicted in a court of law? 

In all seriousness, one of the unfortunate side effects of celebrity murder trials is that the fame of the accused often ends up overshadowing the tragedy of the victim.  In most of the stories I've read concerning Spector's trial, Lana Clarkson has been described as a "B-movie" actress and this isn't quite fair to her.  Lana Clarkson was not a B-movie actress.  Instead, she was a talented actress who happened to appear in a lot of B-movies.  To dismissively refer to her as a "B-movie actress" diminishes the fact that -- regardless of the quality of the film she was appearing in -- Clarkson was one of those likable, energetic actresses who was always better than the material she had to work with. 

Most stories mention that her best known role was in a film called Barbarian Queen, as if Clarkson were some type of Troy McClure-type hack whose life could be judged solely on the basis of the titles of the films that she appeared in.  What those stories don't mention is the fact that she actually gave a pretty memorable performance in Barbarian Queen.

(Though the Clarkson performance I would recommend would have to be her performance in a film called The Haunting of Morella.  The film itself is pretty bad but Clarkson's performance is very good.)

And who could forget her as the improbable wife of Vincent Schiavelli in Fast Times At Ridgemont High?

Rest in peace, Lana Clarkson.

You deserved better.

Taken

 

Last Tuesday, I went and saw Taken, a movie directed by Pierre Morel and starring Liam Neeson.  In America, Taken opened about a month ago and it has since become the first surprise hit of 2009.  Audiences are not only flocking to the movie but are apparently even returning for a second look.  I went to the movie intending to discover why. 

And what did I discover?

Taken works.

How to describe Taken?  In a word, cathartic.  It's difficult to think of the last time a movie generated so much audience goodwill by graphically detailing a series of homicides.

It helps, of course, that the people being killed are a bunch of dirty-looking Albanian white slavers and that the man doing the killing is Liam Neeson.  In the movie, Neeson plays a retired CIA agent who simply wants to bond with his teenage daughter (played a surprisingly sweet Maggie Grace).  His efforts are foiled by 1) his own paranoid nature, 2) his ex-wife's lingering bitterness, and 3) the fact that his daughter, a U2 groupie, goes to Paris in an effort to follow the band and ends up getting kidnapped by the previously mentioned Albanians.

Now, if this movie had been made by an American studio, one imagines that -- at this point -- Neeson would somehow get it into his head that Bono, The Edge, Larry, and Adam are responsible for his daughter's disappearance.  After an initial confrontation, Neeson and the band would form an uneasy alliance to rescue his daughter.  One imagines that they would also be helped by a comedic roadie who just happened to be Albanian -- just to make sure that nobody walked away from the film convinced that all dirty, sweaty Albanians make a living out of kidnapping innocent white virgins.  Neeson and the band would bond and the movie would probably end with Neeson replacing whichever member of the band ended up getting killed during the rescue operation (it would probably be Adam, don't you think?)

However, this isn't a Hollywood film.  It's a low budget, French film and it was written and produced by Luc Besson, who has never met a B-movie archetype that he didn't love.  As such, Neeson goes to Paris searching for his daughter and spends about 75 minutes of screen time, more or less, killing people.

You might guess from what I've just written that I didn't care much for Taken.  You would be wrong.  As a movie, Taken works.  Yes, the movie's violence occasionally threatens to cross the line into pure sadism,  And yes, it is a bit bizarre how easily Neeson manages to track down the guilty Albanians once he reaches Paris.  And yes, the film does end with a coda that seems to suggest that the filmmakers are ignorant of the concept of post-traumatic stress disorder.

But none of that matters because, in the end, Taken works.

The main reason why the movie works is because of Liam Neeson's work in the lead role.  Once you accept the idea of a retired CIA agent with a heavy Irish accent, Neeson is never less than convincing as both a devoted, if hardly perfect, father and a ruthless murderer.  Once you accept the sincerity of both the character's love for his daughter and his regret for missing so much of her childhood, it becomes much more easier to accept the idea of this same character shooting an innocent bystander in the arm in order to get some information about his daughter's whereabouts.  Neeson brings so much needed gravity to both the role and the film. 

The various men that Neeson kills are all convincingly sleazy and Maggie Grace is rather sweet in the role of Neeson's daughter.  While the daughter, ultimately, remains more of a symbol of purity than an actual human being, Grace is likable enough in the role that one doesn't mind seeing her potential defilers brutally killed.  That's where the catharsis comes in.  In these times when the President of the United States is blithely assuring us that, as long as we're civil to them, we don't have to worry about terrorists trying to blow us up and when the American government is starting to resemble one of those high-minded but ultimately rather ineffectual parliaments that have come to typify Europe, there is something amazingly cathartic about seeing Liam Neeson gun a sleazy flesh peddler down without a sign of hesitation or a hint of guilt.

In the future, Taken may be remembered as the first film to truly benefit from America's growing torture nostalgia.

It may seem strange, to many American audiences, to realize that Taken is actually a French film.  Typically, brutal, non-martial arts-related action films are seen as being a solely American affair.  However, when viewing the actual movie, it becomes obvious that the story itself could have sprung only from the French subconscious. 

One need only consider that the film's villians are a group of immigrants who are thriving in Paris largely because the legal authorities -- as a result of financial corruption and personal weakness -- are impotent to stop them.  Instead, the only solution to the problem is for an American to come over to France and -- without the help of any actual French citizens -- brutally murder all of them.  Naturally, the American doesn't do this to help the French.  Instead, he does it because he feels that his "property" has been violated.  However, regardless of his reasons, the American still ends up doing what the French themselves want to do but what they ultimately -- because they are French and, as such, represent a higher ideal -- can not do.  And then, of course, the American promptly gets on a plane and goes away so that the French don't have to be reminded of his existence.

But, in the end, all of that is purely academic.  Beyond a handful of movie goers, that sort of thing really doesn't matter to anyone sitting in the audience.

To them, only one things matters.

Taken works.

My current state of being via The Clash

I'm so bored with the U.S.A.