Jeff Ellis: It's Impossible To Start A Fire If You Have No Desire To Burn

Oral Roberts, R.I.P.

Retired televangelist Oral Roberts died on December 15th.  He was 91 years old.

When I was a child, I knew Oral Roberts as simply the old guy who came on after the cartoons.  Later, in 1987, Roberts contributed to one of the defining moments of my cynical adolescence when he announced that if he didn't raise 8 million dollars by a set date, God would kill him (or "call him home.")

Roberts ended up raising 9.1 million dollars but, in the end, his statement did far more harm than good to the American evangelical community.  His claim that God was blackmailing him managed to discredit every other televangelist in the country, regardless of whether they practiced Roberts' style of ministry or not.  Certainly, it added fuel to a fire that would, later that year, turn into an inferno as both Jimmy Swaggert and Jim Bakker saw their ministries collapse.

It's not for me to say whether or not Roberts sincerely believed he would be killed for failing to raise enough money to please God.  All I can say for sure is that the death threat doesn't sound like something that the God I was raised to worship would have anything to do with. 

Roberts was semi-retired when he died.  To be honest, I was initially surprised to discover that he hadn't died years earlier.  Oddly enough, his death was not greeted with any jokes about being called home.  Then again, Americans always have been a forgetful group of people.

Oral Roberts, R.I.P.

The Person Of The Year

Time Magazine has announced their "Person Of The Year."

A lot of us thought (and were dreading that possibility) that Time would slavishly give the title to Barack Obama.

Well, amazingly enough, Time did not jump at another excuse to put Barack Obama on the cover.

But seriously -- Ben Bernacke?

Perhaps the only thing positive thing that Bernacke has brought to this year is evidence that occasionally, Republican senators can find common ground with Bernie Sanders.  Sen. Sanders, the only self-acknowledged socialist in the U.S. Senate, has recently joined with conservative Republicans Jim Bunning and Jim DeMint in opposing Bernacke's nomination to another four years in charge of the Fed.

Honestly, the person of the year was Michael Jackson.  His death and the subsequent circus that has surrounded it has come to represent the current state of the world.  If 2009 played like a heavy-handed satire, nothing was more heavy-handed than the death of Michael Jackson.

Greetings From The Streets of New York City

To see the entire image, click on it.

Dan Rather Tries Out Uncle Walter's Shoes

With the recent passing of Walter Cronkite, it would appear that the role of Bitter-Old-Doom-Sayer has been passed on to Dan Rather.

The main duty of this role is to continually insist that 1) America is only as great as the mainstream media, 2) that the media has lost its way now that it's being run by a bunch of snot-nosed brats in their early (as opposed to late) 60s), 3) that the current state of CBS News is the number one issue facing this country, and, most importantly, 4) that there is no other legitimate source of information out there beyond the networks and the newspapers.

Admittedly, Rather was already doing this before Cronkite's passing.  However, now that Dan Rather has the stage to himself, one can expect him to take these efforts to the usual Rather extreme.

Case in point: at the Aspen Institute, Rather recently called on the federal government to "save journalism."  Apparently, Rather wants the Obama administration to establish "a White House commission on public media" which will somehow free the mainstream media from the demands of financial institutions and political interest groups.

Perhaps Rather is hoping that the federal government will bail-out the American journalism establishment.

Speaking for myself, just the idea would seem to be a massive violation of freedom of the press.  If, as both Cronkite and now Rather were fond of claiming, the proper role of the press is to be critical of the government (and they're both right as far as that is concerned), then it also seems like the last thing any true journalist would want would be for that same government to involve itself in how the mainstream media works,

Does Rather seriously believe that the federal government would step in and "save" journalism without expecting anything in return?

Does Rather seriously believe that this is the best way to maintain an "independent" press?

Is he truly the naive?

Probably.

Karl Malden, R.I.P.

Actor Karl Malden has died.  He was 97 years old.

For members of my generation, our first real exposure to Karl Malden came when he was president of the Academy of Motion Pictures Arts and Sciences and, as a result, always got to deliver the show-stopping "mission statement" at a handful of Oscar ceremonies.  Even in that somewhat colorless role, he always came across as a genuinely decent, blue collar guy.  If nothing else, he was certainly a good deal less pompous than Arthur Hiller.

(Malden later contributed to one of the biggest Oscar controversies in recent years when he spearheaded the effort to award name dropper Elia Kazan an honorary award.)

Malden, however, had a long career an actor.  For much of his career, he was the urban everyman, an often-overlooked, hardworking figure who, more or often than not, ended up becoming a figure of moral authority simply based on the fact that you could simply look at Malden's face and tell that he had spent every day of his life making an honest living.  Indeed, it was this innate sense of decency that made it all the more devastating when his weak-willed Mitch in A Streetcar Named Desire finally ended up rejecting Vivian Leigh's Blanche.  This sense of decency actually tempted one to overlook the fact that his crusading priest in On the Waterfront is essentially used to justify "naming names."  Just try to imagine sitting through Patton without Karl Malden's practical-minded Omar Bradley there to balance out the megalomania of George C. Scott's Patton.

Malden was such a reliable actor that he was also quite often a rather underrated actor.  Though it happened very rarely, occasionally he was cast against type and allowed to show that he had a good deal more range than one might suspect.  A prime example of this came in Marlon Brando's sole directorial effort, the western One-Eyed Jacks where Malden was a chilling and believable bad guy. Legend has it that the film's original director -- the legendary Stanley Kubrick -- walked off the film because he felt that Malden's casting was a mistake and that Brando (who also played the film's lead role) would easily dominate Malden.  (Reportedly, Kubrick hoped to cast Spencer Tracy in the villainous role.)  In the end, however, it was Malden's performance that dominated the final film and Brando who often seemed to be miscast.  

Allow me to mention one final underrated Malden performance.  As an unabashed fan of the old school Italian giallo, this one is a personal favorite of mine. In Dario Argento's 3rd film, The Cat O' Nine Tales, Malden is cast as a blind, retired journalist who -- along with James Fransiscus -- is drawn into a rather complex murder mystery.  It is, admittedly, a rather cutesy role but Malden plays it with just the right balance of genuine pathos and enigmatic menace.  Indeed, by the end of the film, the audience can't help but feel rather ambiguous toward Malden's nominal hero.  The film's finale -- in which Malden, incorrectly believing that his granddaughter has been murdered, ruthlessly kills the bad guy just to then hear his granddaughter's anguished scream of "Papa!" -- is a lot more effective than it has any right to be and this is largely because of Malden's performance.

Like many of the great film character actors of the 40s and 50s, Malden eventually ended up turning to television.  His most famous role was as the lead detective in The Streets of San Francisco.  I must confess that, during the rare times that reruns turned up in syndication, I have never been able to sit through an entire episode of The Streets of San Francisco.  This is through no fault of Malden's.  It's just that the show is as resolutely a symbol of its time as the various CSIspin-offs are today.   As a result, the show has not aged well.  Everything from the theme music to the announcer informing us that the show is "A Quinn Martin Production" has taken on an element of camp.  Everything except for Karl Malden.

A few years back, I read an interview with Malden in which he was asked about his role on the Streets of San Francisco.  Malden reflected on the irony of the fact that this by-the-book cop show starred two of the most resolutely liberal actors in Hollywood.  The reason why I remembered Malden's comment is because it was delivered without apology.  He neither apologized for being liberal nor did he apologize for giving a sympathetic portrayal of a conservative.  In these partisan times, there's something comforting about discovering that there actually were accomplished, professional people who were capable of being politically-minded without succumbing to stridency.

(Malden was, for his entire career, an outspoken Democrat.  Though, it should be noted, he was a member of the Democratic Party that gave us Eugene McCarthy and Hubert Humphrey and not the Democratic Party that has since produced Nancy Pelosi and Barack Obama.)

For me, Malden's best television role was in the true-crime miniseries, Fatal Vision.  Playing the antagonistic father-in-law of convicted murderer Jeffrey McDonald (played, in a truly chilling performance, by Gary Cole), Malden once again embodied something that was both uniquely American and uniquely blue collar.  To his efforts to convict that man who killed his daughter, Malden brought a compelling determination and a palpable pathos that distinguished both this movie in specific and Karl Malden's career in general.

Karl Malden, R.I.P.

A Calm, Classy Post About Al Franken

It's official.

Al Franken is now a U.S. Senator and the Democrats are pretty much unstoppable.

What to say about this?

Well, it sucks, doesn't it?

Still, there is a silver lining.

The more powerful you are, the more Americans are going to fantasize about seeing you fall.

As for Al Franken...

Oh, Al Franken can go fuck himself.

Sanford, Ensign, oh my!

I read today that the Governor of South Carolina, Mark Sanford, has admitted to having a mistress in Argentina.  Apparently, he vanished for a few days and went off to see her.  Or something like that.  Quite frankly, I'm too tired (and feeling sick from the Texas heat) to work up the strength waste too much time on this tawdry tale.

Sanford is one of those Republicans who was previously being mentioned as a potential challenge to Barack Obama in 2012.  The general assumption seems to be that his career is over. 

And yet the idea of John Edwards launching a comeback on the idea of being "the leader in the fight against poverty" is treated seriously by the mainstream media.

In all probability, neither Edwards nor Sanford will ever be president.  This isn't because they cheated on their wives as much as it's because they allowed those affairs to turn into farces. 

Americans like to think of their leaders as having guilt-ridden, character-building extramarital affairs in the style of Spencer Tracy and Katharine Hepburn.

Instead, we keep getting stuck with interns with cigars stuck up their vaginas.

Sanford is the 2nd potential Republican presidential candidate to get caught cheating this year.  The first was Nevada Sen. Jon Ensign. 

In other words, the field is already starting to get thin and we've still got a long three years to go.

Perhaps cheating on your wife could replace the whole primary system in 2012.  Whoever can screw around and not get caught before November of 2012 will be nominated for President.

One quick question, though, for those who are currently engaging in the predictable gloating of "Another Family Values Republican Caught Cheating:"  Do you actually believe that Barack Obama has never once cheated on Michelle?

Seriously.

Hardcore Journalism

Ripped from the headlines:

Obama Kills Fly In One Swope

Goddamn, is there nothing our President can't do!?

Update on Roland Burris

Earlier this year, I was among those who found a lot of enjoyment in following the efforts of Roland Burris to take his seat in the U.S. Senate. 

Admittedly, I later lost interest in Burris.  Even as it has subsequently been implied that perhaps Burris wasn't quite the innocent bystander that he was always made out to be, I really didn't see much point in commenting on it.  All politicians -- white, black, or whatever -- are inherently corrupt and why should Roland Burris be any different?

However, as of late, my interest in the sad (or perhaps pathetic would be a better description) story of U.S. Sen. Roland Burris has been revived.

With the latest round of accusations concerning whether or not Burris discussed raising money for former Gov. Rod Blagojevich in return for his current seat in the U.S. Senate, many Democrats are now assuming that Burris is the political equivalent of a dead man walking.  Apparently, he's now got one of Bobby's kids -- Chris Kennedy -- running against him in the 2010 Democratic primary.

Now, before anyone jumps the gun on this, it should be noted that Chris Kennedy is not the one who screwed the babysitter.  (That was Michael.)  And he's not the one who died of a drug overdose in the ghetto.  (That was David.)  He's also not the one who served in the U.S. House and quickly made a reputation for himself as an intellectual lightweight with the personality of a schoolyard bully.  (That was either Joseph or his cousin Patrick.)  Chris also never served as Lt. Governor of Maryland and he never responded to the Ravens scoring a touchdown by exclaiming, "My favorite part was when they scored the football."  (That was Kathleen.)  Also, as far as I know, Chris is not the one who has put his career on hold to spend every waking moment accusing everyone not named Skakel of murdering Martha Moxley in the 70s.  (No, that's Bobby, Jr.)  Speaking of the Skakels, Chris is also not the cousin who was accused -- in 1976 -- of attacking a policeman while hanging out with convicted murderer Michael Skakel.  (That was Max.)

(I know, I know.  It's hard to keep track of them all.)

Chris is apparently the businessman of Bobby's kids.  He runs the Merchandise Mart back in Chicago and has been pretty prominent in civic matters even if he's never actually held elected office before.  As usual, whenever one of Bobby's kids starts talking about running for office, there seems to be a general assumption in the media that this latest cousin will be the cousin who finally lives up the "Kennedy Promise." 

And who knows?  Chris might be the exception to the already established rule concerning the children of Bobby and Ethel Kennedy (i.e., that along with inheriting the least flattering physical features of both parents, the kids also inherited Bobby's abrasive arrogance and Ethel's clueless elitism). 

However, I wouldn't write Burris's obituary just yet.

Consider this story from the drones over at MSNBC:

Burris Shunned In U.S. Senate.

At this point in American history, being shunned by the current members of Congress is probably the best thing that could happen to any politician facing a tough reelection.

Everybody Wants To Rule The World

As of late, there's been a lot of Democratic snickering over the idea of actor Gary Sinise emerging as the savior of the Republican Party in 2012.  It's really not that crazy of an idea.  Sinise is an outstanding communicator, hasn't been scared to be open about his politics, and, at the very least, a President Sinise might give a cabinet post to John Malkovich.

 

This Democratic expression of disdain for Mr. Sinise as a political leader usually leads to another round or two of petty Reagan bashing (i.e., Reagan was a B-actor, Bedtime For Bonzo, and all the rest).  One has to wonder how President Obama feels about this since he spent so much of 2008 assuring America that Ronald Reagan was his personal messiah.

As I read the various Democratic responses to Sinise's potential future in politics, I have to wonder about how they feel about Val Kilmer?  After all, according to Lloyd Grove, Kilmer is on the verge of jumping into politics himself by running for governor of New Mexico. 

Grove doesn't clarify just which party Kilmer would represent as a candidate.  Back in the early '90s, perhaps as a result of his role in Top Gun and his well-publicized reservations about playing Jim Morrison in The Doors, it was often assumed that Kilmer was some sort of closet Republican.  However, Grove does mention that Kilmer campaigned for Obama in 2008.  My own instincts are that Kilmer would probably run as an Independent. 

Why?

It's probably because I've always found him to be as annoying as an actor as I previously found Ross Perot and Ralph Nader to be as presidential candidates.

(Though, in all fairness to Mr. Kilmer, he deserved an Oscar nomination for The Doors and probably one for Heat as well...)

Many people would say that this is a natural result of Obama's election.  After all, Obama's entire campaign was based on the power of his celebrity as opposed to any actual qualifications for office.  As a result, we are now seeing quite a few celebrities openly talking about running for office.  For instance, Ben Affleck has talked about running for governor of Virginia and Joe Piscopo is mentioned as a candidate for office in New Jersey.  And, of course, if Obama is the one who made it acceptable for a celebrity to be the nation's leader, he was simply building on the foundation that was laid down by Arnold Schwarzenegger in 2003.

The problem with this theory, of course, is that it assumes that Val Kilmer is a celebrity.  Seriously, can you name Val Kilmer's last movie without looking it up on Wikipedia?  Apparently, it was something called The Chaos Experiment.

Val Kilmer's one of those strange cases where an actor becomes known as a star despite not really having any fans.  Indeed, despite being a talented actor, his screen presence seems to have the effect of generating a strong feeling of nausea in audiences.

Remember him in the Saint?  That was the movie that would have us believe that Kilmer was a master of disguise and that Elisabeth Shue even knew how to spell "cold fusion" let alone create it. 

Or how about his sweaty, mumbling turn as John Holmes in Wonderland, a film that literally had absolutely no good reason for existing? 

Or what about The Island of Dr. Moreau?  It's been 13 years since that movie came out and his presence in that film is still not within the realms of human comprehension.

Still, the idea of Val Kilmer as governor of New Mexico is an intriguing one.  After all, this is the same guy who has continually been labeled either "crazy" or "insane" by a steady stream of disgruntled directors and co-stars.  This is the same actor who allegedly stubbed out a little cigarette on Moreau director Richard Stanley's face.  Whether that story is true or not is not important.  What's important is that it is so easy to believe.

Perhaps if Val Kilmer can actually win an election, other actors will be even more inspired to take the plunge.  After all, if you're a politically outspoken thespian like Alec Baldwin, wouldn't you be a bit annoyed to discover that Val Kilmer has a state of his very own and you don't?

Perhaps in the future, actors will no longer compete for bigger roles but for bigger states.  No longer will they steal scenes, instead they'll embezzle tax funds.

Hopefully, Texas will elect Powers Boothe.