Jeff Ellis: It's Impossible To Start A Fire If You Have No Desire To Burn

Go Cardinals!

Tomorrow's the Super Bowl.

Steelers vs. Cardinals in Florida.

Pittsburgh.  Phoenix.  Tampa.  As one local radio commercial puts it, is this a superbowl or is it Whitesnake's new world tour?

As for me, I am rooting for the Cardinals.

Why?

I'm bored with watching the "favorites" win.

It's time for an upset.

We will miss Rod Blagojevich

Sad to say but Rod Blagojevich is no longer America's favorite governor.

He was kicked out of office by the state legislature yesterday for the crime of being corrupt without being charismatic.

I, for one, will miss him.  With all the current overheated rhetoric about change and bipartisan reform and all the rest of it, Blagojevich provided a very important service for the U.S.A.

He reminded us what politics -- and politicians -- are all about.

Personally, the whole concept behind impeaching an elected (as opposed to an appointed) official leaves me with mixed feelings.  The people of Illinois might not have been happy with the idea of Blagojevich as their governor but then again, they're the ones who, seeing the magic D listed after his name on the ballot, voted for him like a bunch of Pavlovian dogs.

Twice.

Pat Quinn is now the governor of Illinois.  Being a Texan, I can't tell you much about Pat Quinn.  Being a proud Irish-American, I'm sure that Quinn will do his job well.

I'm sure that Blagojevich will be fine as well.  He's still relatively young and, at the very least, he'll get a book deal out of this.

Who knows?

Maybe he can team up with Mark Furhman and go around the country investigating unsolved murders.

I like the thought of that.  I can see it now..."He's a disgraced ex-cop who was taped using the N-word.  He's an impeached ex-governor who was taped dropping the F-bomb.  Together, they solve crimes!"

Et Tu, Judd?

Is Barack Obama going to nominate Republican Senator Judd Gregg of New Hampshire to lead the Commerce Department?

Well, that's one way for the Democrats to get to that magic 60 member majority in the U.S. Senate.  Right now, the Democrats have 58 members in their caucus.  That's including independents Joe Lieberman and Bernie Sanders and excluding Al Franken. 

(Realistically, Norm Coleman's attempts to get the results of the Minnesota recount will probably lose in court.  However, until that happens, I will not be including Franken as a member of the U.S. Senate.  This is largely because of the fact that I hate Al Franken and, if Franken knew me, he would probably hate me as well.)

If Gregg left the U.S. Senate, New Hampshire's governor (a democrat) would name a replacement and the assumption is that a Democrat would be named.  There is some speculation that Gregg might negotiate a deal where a Republican "elder statesman" would be named to serve as a placeholder until 2010.  However, that elder statesman would probbaly be some past-his-prime moderate like Warren Rudman who, one gets the feeling, would probably end up voting with the Democrats in the name of bipartisanship.

(It certainly wouldn't be either one of my two personal choices for the seat -- former senators Gordon Humphrey or John Sununu, Jr.)

(Sidenote: Speaking of former New Hampshire senators, is Bob Smith still selling real estate in Florida or as he sulked off somewhere else in the hope of relaunching his political career?)

So, Gregg leaving the U.S. Senate would not be a good thing for the Republican Party.  Then again, considering just how Democratic New Hampshire has become in the last few years, it would probably be a good move for Gregg personally.  After all, wouldn't you rather end your career as Commerce Secretary as opposed to as an long-term incumbent defeated for reelection?

I'm sure that if Gregg does accept the post, Obama will be lauded for his bipartisan spirit.  Pundits will assume that awed expression that they always take on whenever discussing Barack Obama and they'll point out that Obama now has THREE Republicans serving in his cabinet.

One has to wonder how these same pundits can be so upset over the prospect of a Republican serving in elected office yet get so excited to see them as members of the presidential cabinet.

Putting politics aside, Judd Gregg would make a fine Commerce Secretary and, quite frankly, I do feel better seeing a Republican in that position than a Democrat.  However, I hope Gregg remains in the Senate if just because the prospect of sitting through another round of "Obama-is-a-God" reporting is just too tedious an option to consider.

Finally, I get around to insulting Nancy Grace

I am currently making the mistake of watching the Dr. Phil show.  He's talking about "current events."  "Current events" is apparently a Dr. Phil codeword for "crimes that are currently being exploited by the mainstream media."

Dr. Phil's guest commentator today is none other than Nancy Grace, the overdramatic muppet with an accent that sounds like it came from a community theatre production of A Streetcar Named Desire.

I've heard about Nancy Grace, of course.  But -- perhaps because I (being the right-wing extremist that I am) get my true crime exploitation from Greta Van Susteren on Fox News -- this is the first time that I have actually seen this woman in action.

Good God.

I always assumed that the snide comments I often heard and read about Ms. Grace were a case of elitist overstatement.

My mistake.

Seriously, did someone slip speed into her ovaltine or what?

My Parents Go To Slumdog Millionaire

My mom and dad went to see Slumdog Millionaire today.  Slumdog was my favorite film of 2008 and I've been telling them that they should see it for a while now.

Interestingly enough, I may have made a mistake in suggesting this.

My mom thought it was "okay."  When my mom describes something as "okay," that means that she vaguely disliked it but doesn't want to hurt anyone's feelings by saying so.

My dad, however, thought it was too depressing.

Depressing is never a word that I would have associated with Slumdog Millionaire.

Ah well.  That's the generation gap, I suppose.

My Job Is Still Rather Annoying

 Tomorrow, I will be spending ten hours attending a job-related seminar.  I've talked to a few coworkers who have already attended this seminar (which we are informed, two days ago and via e-mail, that we are required to attend regardless of whether it's convenient or needed) and they've told me that the seminar is basically ten hours on how to be a good department manager.

Considering I've had this job for seven years now, one would think that I might already know something about how to be a "good department manager."

But no, apparently there is more for me to learn and to learn it, I am going to have to drive 10 miles to some learning annex in Farmer's Branch, Texas.  That's one waster mile for every wasted hour.

Seriously, I wish my job was more like the Office.  At least the folks at Dunder-Mifflin get to suffer through the work day in the company of Jenna Fischer, Angela Kinsey, and Mindy Kalling...

Three Cheers For Partisanship

Barack Obama's gigantic "economic" stimulus bill passed the U.S. House today.

Economic is in quotes because the bill actually has little to do with stimulating the economy and everything to do with stimulating the growth of the U.S. government.

I'm proud to say that, after spending the last two months rolling over and playing dead, every House Republican voted against the bill.

I doubt we'll see the same courage from the U.S. Senate.

(And, sadly, I doubt we'll see a replay once the Senate version comes back to the House for another vote.)

As most Americans are currently acting as if this is Guyana and Obama is Jim Jones, I imagine that the Republicans will take a lot of heat for opposing the bill.

Still, it was the right thing to do.

At some point, the citizens of this nation are going to have to face the fact that expecting government to fix everything is the same thing as allowing government to control everything.

Already, I can hear the pundits crying about the fact that House Republicans are not willing to be bipartisan.

Partisanship is what made this country great.  Partisanship is what ended slavery.  Partisanship is what ended the war in Viet Nam.  Partisanship is what brought down the Berlin Wall.

God bless partisanship.  And may God save our gridlock!  A government that can do nothing is a government that can do no harm.

Calm down, Katie. He's married.

I just made the mistake of watching Katie Couric on the CBS Evening News.  With all the attempted gravitas of a cheerleader attempting to impress a hot poli sci teaching assistant, she informed us that President Barack Obama, today, went down to Capital Hill and actually met with members of the opposition (Republicans) in an attempt to convince them to support his economic plan.

This story, in itself, wasn't all that interesting.  Despite what the folks at CBS News seem to believe, there's nothing all that unusual about a president meeting with members of the other party.  Both of the George Bushes  did it when they were trying to rally up support for invading Iraq.  Bill Clinton did it when he was trying to pass his own economic package.  So did Ronald Reagan.  So did Richard Nixon, for that matter.  All presidents know the importance of pretending to be bipartisan.

What was interesting was Katie Couric's breathless delivery of the story which seemed to be more appropriate for a story about Jesus walking among the lepers as opposed to a politician doing a typically political thing.

As I listened to Katie, I found myself wondering about something.  The fact that Ms. Couric is biased is hardly up for debate.  But is it possible that Couric, as opposed to being the spoiled, limosuine liberal that many of us assume her to be, is actually just a complete and total idiot?

Well, in all fairness, she's probably both.

Geithner Confirmed

The U.S. Senate today confirmed tax cheat Timothy Geithner as Secretary of Treasury.

Perhaps, if something happens to Eric Holder, Rod Blagojevich can serve as attorney general.

The idea seems to be that, despite Geithner's inability to either remember or choose to pay his taxes and possibility that Geithner doesn't understand the U.S. tax code (it depends on which one of his excuses you want to believe), these are scary times and the proper response is to panic and confirm someone who clearly should not be confirmed.

Perhaps Geithner can teach struggling Americans everywhere how to improve their finances by cheating on their taxes.

I've always had a rather cynical view of politics.  I've always felt that corruption was part of the game and that those people who screamed about "reform" were a bunch of maladjusted, niave know-it-alls who were primarily using their "activism" as a way to deal with their own inadequate personalities.

But, honestly, I have to say that I have never been more disgusted with our elected officials than I am right now.

I know that the conventional wisdom is that Geithner is a genius.

A genius would have come up with a better excuse for not paying his taxes.

Then again, maybe this is the change that Barack Obama spent last year talking about.  Maybe we're meant to take some solace in the fact that our new Treasury Secretary hates paying taxes just as much as the rest of us.

Actually, it's been humorous to watch Geithner since it was first revealed that he had failed to pay his taxes.  He went from looking like one of the arrogant, verbose young liberals from The West Wing to looking like one of the Republican weasels from Commander-in-Chief.

We've traded Aaron Sorkin for Rod Lurie.

American Destiny

As the first week of Barack Obama's presidency comes to an end, it's important to remember one thing.

In the end, nothing that any of us says or does is going to mean a damn thing.

In the end, we're all destined to be forgotten.

Barack Obama included.