Jeff Ellis: It's Impossible To Start A Fire If You Have No Desire To Burn

Godspeed, Dan and Andrew.

Later tonight, I'll be watching the latest episode of the Amazing Race.  We're down to four teams now.  I assume that tonight's episode will be the last before the season finale.

Which is a shame.  I always miss The Amazing Race when it's not on.

This latest season has been interesting largely because none of the teams have exactly managed to dominate the race.  Even though the brother/sister team of Nick and Star have managed to finish first in most of the recent legs, they've still never taken control of the race in the way that past teams like Colin and Christie, Rob and Amber, and BJ and Tyler managed to do.

In short, it really does feel like any one of our four final teams could be the first to cross the finish line.

Well, almost like any of the four...

Sad to say but I fear that my favorite team -- the always amusing "frat boys" Dan and Andrew -- appears to be doomed.  After finishing next-to-last at just about every leg, Dan and Andrew were the last team to arrive last week.  Fortunately, it was a non-elimination leg.  Unfortunately, this means that the dynamic duo will have to do an extra task at some point over the course of tonight's leg.  Since Dan and Andrew have frequently shown an inability to handle having to do the "required" tasks of each leg, an extra task does not bode well for them.

Which is unfortunate as Dan and Andrew -- even if their success does seem to be the result of luck more than anything else -- are really the only two genuinely likable racers left.  At the very least, after season after season of "frat boy" teams that seemed to be fueled primarily by homophobia and date rape humor, it's refreshing to see two such openly dorky college students taking part in the race.

So, if our winning team is not to be Dan and Andrew, who is left?

Well, you got Nick and Star.  They are siblings and quite frankly, they are way too into each other. 

There's Toni and Dallas.  This would be the team made up of a block of wood and his adoring mother.  And again, they are way too into each other.  The block of wood is also way too into Star.  It's easy to imagine them marrying after the race and having a lot of equally dull children.

The last thing the world needs is more dull children.

(I also have a sick feeling that, should Star marry Dallas, then Nick is going to end up marrying Toni just to keep the two teams together...)

And, after those two teams, we have the most loathsome team of all.  This would be John and Elizabeth Edwards.  Actually, the guy is a former football player named Ken Greene and he is racing with his shrill wife Tina.  Ken, as he informs us every single episode, has not been a good husband.  He cheated on his wife.  They are now racing around the world in an effort to see if their marriage can saved.  Because, of course, the best way to fix a strained relationship is to take part in an incredibly stressful race around the world...

Actually, Ken and Tina aren't that bad.  Well, Tina's not that bad.  Ken, however, spends way too much time reassuring the camera about how great Tina is and how perfect she is and how he should never had cheated on her and, quite frankly, it gets a little bit annoying after a little while.  Whenever I listen to Ken talk about how much he loves Tina, I can't help but see Tony Soprano giving his wife a fur coat after screwing Annabella Sciorra.  It's just creepy and it's hard not to hope that Tina leaves the schmuck and ends up stealing Dallas away from Star.

This actually works out quite well as Star is a former cheerleader for the Cowboys and therefore, would be the perfect rebound/trophy wife for Ken.  And Nick could still marry Toni and I suppose Dan and Andrew could marry each other and bang!  Everyone's happy regardless who actually wins!

So, with all that in mind, let's hope the best for Dan and Andrew tonight.

Seriously, it's time the underdogs won something, isn't it?

Random Drunken Thought That May Have Larger Implications

Doesn't everyone just kinda secretly really hate the guts of the designated driver?

I mean, seriously.

A mini-review of Slumdog Millionaire

Earlier today,  I went and saw Danny Boyle's latest film, Slumdog Millionaire.

I would say that you should be wary of anyone who does not love this film.

They're probably not human.

What are you thankful for?

Happy Thanksgiving!

As I type this, I am watching the original Miracle on 34th Street.

I'm thankful that, occasionally on a rare stroke of luck, films like this one are not only made but also remembered.

You Tell Me

They served us turkey at work today.

I've spent the rest of the day throwing up.

Coincidence or conspiracy?

The New Super Friends

In all the excitement of my birthday, I forgot to update this site regarding who else is going to be joining Hillary Rodham Clinton in President Obama's cabinet (a.k.a. the Apostles of Change).

The new Treasury Secretary will be Timothy Geithner.  Read his biography over at wikipedia.  The poor kid's just a conspiracy theory waiting to happen, isn't he?  Anyway, a lot of people are paying a lot of attention to Geithner's appointment because (for now, at least) the American people are choosing to engage in the shared delusion that the government can somehow save them from the economic crisis.  And it is true that so far, Geithner appears to be some sort of Aaron Sorkin West Wing wet dream.

Former Senator Tom Daschle of South Dakota will be returning to Washington D.C.  And what change is Daschle be bringing with him?  Whereas in the past, Daschle promoted an invasive, regualtory-crazed government from his position as senate minority leader, he'll now be able to do it from the Department of Health and Human Services.

New Mexico Gov. Bill Richardson will be taking on the Commerce Department.  Richardson, as many have noted, would have been an ideal choice for the State Department.  Instead, that post is going to Sen. Clinton. 

Right now, some people are saying that Clinton's appointment might be unconstitutional unless she takes a pay cut. 

Hillary Rodham Clinton voluntarily turning down money?  Now that is change!

9 and a Half

Today, I am a year older.

Boo-hoo.

24 is back (kinda)

After being short circuited by last year's writer's strike, the new season of 24 got a start of sorts with a two hour "prologue" to the season regular which will begin in January.

It's an interesting question, really.  Will a show like 24 be able to survive in the new Obama Nation?

Tonight's show indicated that perhaps Jack Bauer has attempted to adapt to all of the "change" that we are supposed to have experienced over the past two years.

For instance, the show opened with Jack Bauer volunteering to protect a group of refugee African children.  At the show's end, when Jack found himself with an oppurtunity to shoot another child (this one happened to be on the verge of shooting him), he actually tried to talk the kid down.  In previous seasons, of course, Bauer would have pulled the trigger. 

Still, that's not necessarily a bad change.  Just as long as he's still willing to torture adults, I'm all for a Jack Bauer who is willing to spare children.

It was nice to see Jack back though I do have to admit that tonight's "preview" really didn't feel like 24.  There was no Aaron, for instance.  Chloe was not to be seen.  I don't remember hearing Jack shout "Dammit" at any point over the course of the show.  Perhaps most conspicously, there were no members of the Palmer family lurking about to give pragmatic advice and die tragically.

We did meet the new president, a woman.  If Dennis Haysbert's performance as David Palmer in the early seasons of 24 helped America accept the idea of President Barack Obama, then one has to assume that everyone from Hillary Clinton to Sarah Palin is truly hoping that Cherry Jones gives an award-winning performance this season.

(That said, Obama has never reminded me of Dennis Haysbert.  If anything, Obama has always seemed more like Wayne Palmer, the previous season's shallow and rather unconvincing president played by D.B. Woodside.)

Who else was missing?  There was no sign of Bill Buchanan, which is a shame.  Even worse, Mike Novack was advising neither incoming President Cherry Jones nor outgoing President Powers Boothe.  Yet that little weasel played by Peter MacNicol showed up again....

Still, those are ultimately minor complaints. 

Here are the important details.

Keifer Sutherland's performance was as haunted and somber as always. 

Robert Carlyle had a supporting role and was so charismatic and likable that you actually mourned his character's death. 

However, the best part of tonight's episode?

A minor character, who was identified early on as being a UN support worker, turned out to be a complete and total jackass.

Yes, 24 is back.

Just when you thought she was gone...

Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton, eh?

Well, that sucks...

Sorry, it's hard for me to have too much of a reaction to this piece of news.  While I knew that Hillary Clinton would probably demand some sort of role in the Obama Administration as a reward for not having our president-elect killed, I honestly did not expect that it would be Secretary of State.

I thought that perhaps Hillary would become attorney general as that way she could do her whole "only a dictator can raise a child" routine.  However, it would appear that Obama is giving that role to Eric Holder.  And it makes sense, really.  After all, would you really want to give Hillary the power to appoint a special prosecutor to investigate every aspect of your life?

So, while the justice department was always something of an unlikely appointment for Sen. Clinton, I honestly thought that she would end up over at Health and Human Services.  After all, didn't Hillary just spend two years assuring us that socializing health care was the number one priority in her life?  Didn't she promise, even after Obama won the Democratic nomination, that nothing would stop her from reforming health care?

Well, apparently Hillarycare well have to wait for at least a few years while our new Secretary of State flies around the world and presents herself as the new shrill voice of American foreign policy.  One can only wonder what the reaction will be as the rest of the world -- who, so far, have only been exposed to Bill -- is forced to deal with what this nation has had to deal with since 1992.

One has to wonder just what exactly it was in Hillary's history that made Obama decide that she would be an ideal Secretary of State. 

Maybe it was the fact that she's already given some thought to what it would be like to come under sniper fire while visiting a foreign nation. 

Maybe it was her campaign rhetoric in which she took credit for brokering peace in Northern Ireland (despite the fact that nobody in either Ireland or England remembers her doing any such thing). 

Maybe it was the story she used to tell about how, being the good-hearted person that she is, she allowed Yitzhak Rabin to smoke a cigarette in the White House and thereby calmed him down enough that he was actually willing to agree to an unltimately pointless agreement with Yassir Arafat (the main cosequence of that treaty -- and apparently the cigarette that Hillary allowed to be smoked -- was that Rabin was later murdered).

Maybe it was the diplomatic savvy that Hillary displayed back in 2000 when she kissed Arafat's wife immediately after that wife had delivered a speech harshly attacking not only Israel but the Jewish people in general.

Or maybe it was the fact that she managed to vote for a war that she later came to stridently opposed while still insisting that she was right to vote for it in the first place because she had allowed herself to be fooled by a bunch of lies that were so transparent that, quite frankly, any idiot should have been able to see through them.

Or, perhaps, Barack Obama -- having no foreign policy himself (sorry, giving a speech in a foreign country does not count -- Hell, I engaged in a few drunken rants the last time I was in Europe, as well.  Make me Secretary of State!) -- simply rewarded Clinton by putting her in charge of the department that he cares the least about.

At the risk of being a party spoiler, I still feel that I should point out that Secretary of State is kind of an important position.  In general, it's not really a post that benefits from being used as a part of the modern day political spoils system.

After all, there's a huge difference between making someone a precint captain in Chicago and selecting a Secretary of State.

Oh well.  At least it gets Hillary out of the country for a while.  Now that Hillary's abroad, one has to wonder if this means that Bill's going to have to start cheating on his wife in America again.

Of course, fair warning should be given.  Assuming that Hillary is confirmed by the U.S. Senate, she will be three heart beats away from the presidency.  Joe Biden, Nancy Pelosi, and Robert Byrd might want to be careful starting the car in the morning...

Gary Johnson for President?

Finally, some good political news.

Former New Mexico Governor Gary Johnson is considering a run for the Republican presidential nomination in 2012.

Johnson is one of the few elected officials to ever have the guts to challenge the lunacy known as the War on Drugs while still holding office.  At one time, I was really hoping that he would jump into the 2008 race.  Johnson didn't, of course and the banner for the Libertarian Wing of the Republican Party was, instead, carried by Ron Paul. 

Hopefully Johnson will enter the race in 2012.  If anything, the economic bailout plot has revealed just how far the current GOP leadership has moved away from the party's small government, anti-regulatory roots

If the past four years have proved anything, it's that the Republican Party desperately needs a rugged individual to bring some of Teddy Roosevelt's "rugged individualism" back to the party.  Johnson very well could be that individual.

(That said, it should also be noted that, as President, Theodore Roosevelt was hardly a libertarian and one shudders to think what a Teddy Roosevelt version of the economic bailout would have resembled.  Still, the man had "style" and that's something that the current GOP leadership desperately needs if they're ever going to compete with the Barack Obamas of the world.)