Jeff Ellis: It's Impossible To Start A Fire If You Have No Desire To Burn

A mighty Yawp!

On Tuesday night's season finale of Hell's Kitchen, Christina -- a culinary student who, quite frankly, tended to come across as just a tad bit shrill and annoying -- defeated my own choice Petrozza.  Consider this to be the latest example of the Ellis Jinx -- i.e., any reality show finalist that Jeff supports will inetivably end up losing.

In explaining the logic behind his ultimate decision to reward the inexperienced Christina with an executive chef position, Chef Gordon Ramsey stated that the 20-something Christina was selected over the 40-something Petrozza because Ramsey was making his selection based on "the long term."

In other words, Christina was selected because Petrozza will probably die before she does.

It should be noted that, with this latest reality show finale, I have now reached a state where I am only addicted to two pointless, "non-scripted" television programs.  (Those two would be The Academy on Fox Reality and, God forgive me, the Mole on ABC.)  As for the rest of the current crop of reality offerings -- So You Think You Can Dance, America's Got Talent, Celebrity Circus, The Moment of Truth, Spanking the Stars, Famous People in Bondage Gear, Bring out the Gimp, and whatever else television may have to offer -- I am fortunate enough to be able to say that none of them have managed to get me hooked.

Hopefully, I will be able to take advantage of this momentary lack of addictive silliness to actually accomplish something.

Carpe Diem, as we used to say back when we still thought Dead Poets Society was the greatest movie ever made.

(Don't deny it, Dom Shakal!  Don't deny it...)

Where's Tim Kaine?

U.S. Sen. Jim Webb (D--VA) has officially announced that he will not be Barack Obama's running mate.

And a country that has already spent the first half of 2008 being subjected to an endless parade of self-righteous blowhards says "Thank God!"

Of course, this doesn't necessarily mean that Webb won't be Obama's running mate.  Political etiquette seems to require that all politicians deny any ambition to be Vice President. 

(Unless, of course, that politician is a Clinton...)

Still, of all the formerly solid Republican states that could very well go Democratic this election cycle, Virginia would seem to be at the top of the list.  And, with 13 electoral votes, Virginia is a state that both parties should be fighting to win. 

Truth be told, I think there's a pretty good chance that Virginia will end up in Obama's column regardless of whether Obama chooses a Virginian for his running mate or not.  Even when the Republican Party was at it's strongest, Virginia was always somewhat marginal and, as of late, Virginia has been voting Democratic in local elections.  (Of course, so has the entire nation.  Even if John McCain is elected President, 2008 is going to be a Democratic year overall.) 

Still, it always helps to have a favorite son on the ticket if a presidential candidate is specifically trying to capture one potentially marginal state.  The most obvious Virginia Veep prospect, Mark Warner, is running for the Senate.  With Webb taking himself out of the race, that would only seem to leave Gov. Tim Kaine as a possibility.

It's interesting, to me, that Kaine is being perceived, by the Obama campaign and the mainstream media at large, as a fallback choice to Sen. Webb.  As an elected official, Kaine has actually shown a good deal more courage than Webb and he also has the executive experience that Obama, as a first term Senator, lacks.  Whereas Sen. Webb has spent his time providing a few testy sound bites, Kaine has actually been administrating.   

Still, all hope is not lost for Kaine.  One should not that despite his outspoken opposition to the death penalty, Gov. Kaine has signed six death warrants.  While I have praised him in the past for having the guts to veto a bill which would have increased the number of crimes one could be put to death for, I do find it interesting that Kaine has apparently abandoned the "moratorium" on executions that he called for while running for governor back in 2005. 

Perhaps Kaine has learned a lesson from Bill Clinton's decision to execute a mentally retarded man back in 1992.

Executing a few folks always seems to be the preferred method for liberal governors who want to convince people that they've got the balls to run for national office. 

It's always interesting to me that as the Democratic Party has become more and more openly liberal, it still doesn't have the guts the truly embrace the only nominally "liberal" position that I myself subscribe to, the abolition of the death penalty.

Jesse Helms, R.I.P.

Former U.S. Sen. Jesse Helms (R--NC) died on the 4th of July.  He was 86.

Jesse Helms' support of Ronald Reagan's presidential campaign in 1976 has often been cited as being a huge factor in Reagan going from being an out-of-office politician to winning the Presidency in 1980.  Whether or not this is true is open to debate.  It is true that Reagan's '76 primary challenge to Gerald Ford was looking like a sure loser up until he won the North Carolina primary.  And it is true that his North Carolina victory gave Reagan the momentum that allowed him to come very close to actually taking the presidential nomination away from Ford.  And it is true that Reagan's success in '76 made him an automatic front runner in 1980.

However, does that necessarily mean that Reagan would never have been elected if it had not been for Jesse Helms?  Here's the thing.  Even if Reagan hadn't won the '76 North Carolina primary, chances are he would have started out as a front runner in 1980 because, seriously, who was left?  In 1980, the Republicans were still recovering from the electoral losses of Watergate.  Most of the charismatic politicians in the party had been elected in '78 as a reaction to Jimmy Carter.  When 1980 rolled around, none of them had been in office long enough to launch a credible Presidential campaign.  (Though that didn't stop one of them, Sen. Larry Pressler of South Dakota, from trying.)  Even if Reagan had never won the '76 Republican primary, that would not have somehow magically made such 1980 primary also-rans as George H.W. Bush or Howard Baker any more charismatic.  It would not have made John Connally appear any more ethical and it wouldn't have made John Anderson seem any less liberal and it wouldn't have increased Phil Crane's name recognition. 

Jesse Helms gets all the credit largely because those dishing out the credit still find it hard to understand just how exactly Ronald Reagan ever got elected President in the first place.  Without diminishing the importance that Helms did play in Reagan's '76 campaign, it's a bit much to insist that Reagan owed his entire presidency to Helms as so many commentators have in the days since Helms' death.  Not only does it ignore the valuable contributions of Ronald Reagan himself, it also tends to ignore just how work Jimmy Carter put into convincing the American people to replace him with a former B-movie actor.

How to sum up the life of Jesse Helms?  He was one of the most well-known conservative Republicans in the nation but many of his fellow conservatives were never comfortable with him.  Far too often, he struck us as a man who believed the right things for the wrong reasons.  Far too often, he seemed to go out of his way to epitomize every negative stereotype that has ever been put forth of both Southerners and conservatives.

Helms was often too easy a target.  Left-wingers tended to use him name the same way that certain right-wingers used the name of Howard Mentzenbaum.  One always got the feeling that the extreme Left was always convinced that a Helms presidency was rapidly approaching.  He was such an easy target that often times, people failed to consider just how marginal a figure Jesse Helms really was.  This is a man who routinely struggled to win reelection and who never received more than 54% of the vote.

Perhaps the best way to sum up the contribution of Jesse Helms would be to say that Jesse Helms was a great obstructionist.  If nothing else, he seemed to understand that sometimes the best thing one can do in government is to stand in the way and say "No."  Jesse Helms was a master of creating gridlock and what the self-styled reformers always seem to fail to grasp is that gridlock is just as important to a successful government than reform and bipartisan cooperation.  In many ways, gridlock is the most important component of a successful government.

Jesse Helms, R.I.P.

The Second Coming of Gary Hart

For those of us who still wonder what the 1984 and 1988 General Elections would have been like had the Democrats nominated Gary Hart instead of, respectively, Walter Mondale and Michael Dukakis, the Obama Campaign is here to provide a clue.

As you may remember, in 1984, Gary Hart's primary campaign was hurt by the revelation that the former Colorado senator had changed both his last name (originally he was Gary Hartpence -- Hart is a bit more catchy) and the year of his birth (turned out he was actually a year older than he claimed).  While neither of these became huge issues, they did contribute to an nagging unease that a lot of voters felt about Hart.  Regardless of how many inspiring speeches Hart gave or how fresh he appeared when compared against competitors like Mondale and John Glenn, voters could not shake the feeling that there was less to Hart than met the eye.  There was always the feeling that Hart was more of a performer than an administrator.  (His well-publicized friendship with Warren Beatty didn't help.)  This feeling allowed Mondale to (just barely) clinch the 1984 nomination and, in 1987, it made it very easy for voters to believe that Hart was recklessly and arrogantly pursuing an extramarital affair.  Hence, while neither he name change or his age became major scandals, they definitely did play a part in his failure to be elected President.

(As Mondale put it, "Where's the beef?"  To quote The Simpsons, "No wonder he carried Minnesota!")

Obama faces a similar image problem and indeed, Hillary Clinton spent the latter half of her own primary campaign using the same strategy against Obama that Mondale pursued against Hart.  And, it actually worked.  It gave Hillary victories in states like Texas, Ohio, and Pennsylvania.  It's not unreasonable to say that if Hillary had followed this strategy from the beginning as opposed to attempting to run as "The Imperial Candidate," she might actually have won the Democratic presidential nomination (or, at the very least, anti-Hillary voters would have embraced someone other than Barack Obama).

Like Hart, Obama has faced a lot of innuendo about his background and, like Hart, a lot of the innuendo is actually rather unfair and certainly has little to do with whether or not he would be a good President.  (An obvious example would be the photo that the Clinton campaign released of Obama in Somalia.)  That said, this innuendo has the potential to be far more damaging to Obama than a simple name change ever was to Gary Hart.

This is because Barack Obama remains something of an exotic figure to many American voters.  As opposed to Gary Hart, Obama was raised in a country that many Americans would be hard pressed to find on a map.  For all the talk of how Gary Hart was a "new" voice in 1984, he had, in fact, been in the public eye for 12 years (ever since running George McGovern's presidential campaign in '72).  He had served in the U.S. Senate since 1974.  He had, in the elections of both '76 and 1980, been mentioned as a possible national candidate.  Gary Hart was only a "new" face when compared to the very old faces that he spent '84 running against.  Barack Obama, meanwhile, was unknown outside of Chicago until 2004.  Far more than Gary Hart, Barack Obama is still a candidate who, to many voters, appears to have come out of nowhere.  (That's a large part of his appeal with the younger activists who, by their very nature, distrust anyone with too much experience.  However, for older voters, it creates a sense of unease.)  Gary Hart may have changed his name but that doesn't change the fact that, essentially, he was Gary and who hasn't known at least one guy named Gary over the course of his or her life?  Obama, however, is a guy who was raised in Indonesia and whose first name is Barack (though, of course, he was once simply known as Barry).  Names carry a lot of subliminal weight when it comes to choosing a candidate to vote for.  Just ask Pierre Samuel Du Pont IV.

(Though, please, make sure you call him "Pete" when you do so.)

Though it's a subject that nobody wants to talk about, the fact that Barack Obama is black also had to be taken into account when considering why many older, white voters feel that they don't quite know who Obama truly is.

This unease had led to a lot of rumors about Obama's past.  The most popular, of course, is that he's actually a Muslim.  (As I've said here before, what little we do know about Obama would seem to suggest that he really doesn't have any strong religious inclinations one way or the other.)  These are rumors that nobody is willing to repeat in public but, in the shadowy world of the Internet, they are repeated and they can definitely do some damage.  (If for no other reason than the fact that Obama campaign will have to divert resources to battling such smears.)

A far more credible (though very unproven) rumor about Barack Obama is that he wasn't actually born in Hawaii but instead, Kenya (or Indonesia).  This rumor, if true, would make an Obama presidency unconstitutional.  Obama has always been quick to battle this rumor by saying that he has, in his possession, his birth certificate which shows that Barack Hussein Obama was born in Hawaii and, therefore, meets the requirements to serve as President.

The catch, of course, is that, until recently, Obama and his campaign refused to show anyone else that birth certificate.

Now, Obama partisans would probably say that Obama has every right to not release his birth certificate because doing so would give credibility to such disreputable campaign tactics as spreading unfounded rumors about a presidential candidate's past.  And they would be correct.

Still, it's hard to shake the feeling that Obama could saved himself a lot of petty difficulty by just publicly (and, by that, I mean not on the Internet) displaying the document and making the rumor mongers hang their heads in shame.

Now, earlier, I said this rumor was more credible than the "Obama-is-a-Muslim" rumor.  What's interesting here is that it is the Obama's campaign's own actions (and the actions of Obama's supporters) that are adding credibility to those rumors.

In response to a challenge from National Review online, a copy of Obama's "birth certificate" appeared on the Daily Kos website.  The Obama campaign validated that certificate as being accurate.

So what's the problem?

(Beyond the fact that the Obama campaign is apparently choosing to communicate through the Daily Kos?)

There's reason to believe that the document, in question, is a forgery.  Check out this article at Israel Insider.

What to make of all this?  I have mixed feelings about the whole thing, myself.  While I am not a supporter of Obama's and I think there is a definite lack of depth to him as a leader, I am also not a fan of all the rumor-mongering that has gone on about him.  I cringe every time I see a blog post that accuses Obama of being Muslim or that insists of calling him "Barack HUSSEIN Obama."  If anything, that's a tactic straight from the gamebook of Bill Clinton.  At it's very worse, the more extreme of the Obama bashing reminds of, how in 1988, Michael Dukakis would have a guy in a Nixon mask at his rallies. 

For the record, I think that Barack Obama was an American citizen when he was born. 

I also think that the birth certificate that showed up on the Daily Kos is probably a fake.

I don't have proof of that, of course.

Again, this is something that could all be cleared up by Obama providing the actual document that he claims to have in his possession (as opposed to just putting something up on the Internet).  Obama's failure to do so -- regardless of whether he's being motivated by higher ideals or feels that it would be beneath his dignity to do so -- only serves to give fuel to the fire.

(And, if history has taught us anything, it is that true leadership is often about doing things that nobody should have to do.  Taking the high moral ground -- if that is what the Obama campaign is doing -- rarely produces anything more than a pat on the back.  A pat on the back may feel good but it's not going to run the country.)

Taken in the best possible light, it suggests a type of Carteresque self-righteousness that rarely translates into the ability to govern.

Taken in the worst possible light, it suggests that we are facing the Second Coming of Gary Hart.

Thank you, Walter Hill

Happy 4th of July! 

As I type this, my neighbors are celebrating the birth of the nation by getting drunk and being loud.  I love my country but hate my neighbors.

For the past few days, the heat down here in Texas has been torturous.  As I do not react well to warm weather in general (much less the agony of a Texas summer), I did not go out to see any fireworks tonight.  The idea of being surrounded by thousands of sweaty strangers did not appeal to me.

I would have probably spent the whole day at home (today is the first day of my vacation from my day job -- I'm free to concentrate solely on my writing until July 13th) if I hadn't decided to watch a 1978 film called The Driver.  Directed by Walter Hill, The Driver is (reasonably enough) about a driver.  Ryan O'Neal is an ice-cold outlaw who sells his services as a get away driver to various criminals.  Isabelle Adjani is the woman with whom he has an odd little affair.  Bruce Dern is the detective who is obsessed (little surprise here as when hasn't a Bruce Dern character been obsessed with something) with busting him.  The film really is classic Walter Hill -- part thrilling action and part philosophical hokum. 

(Walter Hill really is the poor man's Michael Mann and that's definitely meant as a compliment for both directors.)

Anyway, as you might imagine of a film called The Driver, a good deal of the film is taken up with scenes of Ryan O'Neal driving.  Indeed, the Driver is a contender for the best car chase film ever made.  As a result, it is impossible to watch the movie without then being filled with an irresistible urge to go out and drive around aimlessly yourself.

So, that's what I spent most of tonight doing.

The upshot of this is that I found myself cutting through a Wal-Mart parking lot at the same time a nearby fireworks display was going off.

So, thanks to Walter Hill, I got to observe the traditional 4th of July fireworks after all.

And best of all, I got to do it from the privacy of my own car.

More Imaginary Emmy Nominations

Over on the Envelope, Tom O'Neil has posted the names of the actors and actresses who are currently semifinalists for this year's Primetime Emmy nominations.  Now, it should be noted that -- unlike the top ten Drama and Comedy lists -- these names were not released by the Television Academy.  Instead, they were leaked by various sources.  However, just judging by O'Neil's past record, it's probably reasonable to assume that these lists are accurate.

So, here are some more Primetime Emmy nominations if Jeff was the person solely responsible for selecting the eventual finalists.  As I did with the nominations for Best Comedy and Drama, I will be limiting myself to specifically choosing from those who made the various top ten lists.  This means that I won't be giving a nomination to a few of my favorite performers from this latest television season.  It also means that I won't (in this post) be nominating anyone for Best Guest Actress Drama or Best Guest Actor Comedy because (as of this writing) those names have yet to be leaked.

So be it.

We'll start with the Drama nominees.

Best Guest Actor Drama

Keith Carradine in Dexter

Charles Durning in Rescue Me

Oliver Platt in Nip-Tuck

Peter Riegert in Damages

Glynn Turman in In Treatment

These nominations should undoubtedly be taken with a grain of salt because, quite frankly, I've only seen (or remember) seven of the performances in the top ten.  Then again, the guest actor category -- to me -- has always felt like more of a popularity contest than anything else.  It's a chance to nominate some cool people who otherwise you might not get a chance to nominate.  Anyway, out of these five nominees, I'd probably give the Emmy to Carradine if just because he's always been one of my favorite actors and he's never gotten quite as much credit as he deserves for his work.  Check out his work in the movies Choose Me and Southern Comfort if you want to see two truly great performances.

Best Supporting Actress Drama

Jane Alexander in Tell Me That You Love Me

Rose Byrne in Damages

Christina Hendricks in Mad Men

S. Epatha Merkerson in Law and Order

Dianne Wiest in In Treatment

This was actually a somewhat difficult list to compile since most of my own personal choices failed to make the top ten.  Those would be such talented actresses as Elizabeth Mitchell (Lost), January Jones (Mad Man), Lisa Edelstien (House), and Yunjin Kim (Lost).  In fact, I probably would have given the actual award to Kim.  However, the five that I did nominate are all worthy of a nomination as well.  Alexander and Wiest, especially, are notable because they managed to truly impress me while acting in shows that I absolutely hated.  (In Treatment is perhaps both the best acted and worst written show ever to appear on HBO.)  Out of the nominees, I'd give the Emmy to Byrne whose performance managed to keep the viewer interested in Damages even when the show's structure itself threatened to get a bit too convoluted for its own good.

Best Supporting Actor (Drama)

Ted Danson for Damages

Bruce Dern for Big Love

Michael Emerson for Lost

Zeljko Ivanek for Damages

John Slattery for Mad Men

Personally, I would love to hear an acceptance speech delivered by Bruce Dern.  However, there's no way I couldn't give the award to Michael Emerson whose performance as Ben Linus never ceases to amaze and who has really come to dominate the entire show through the force of his own talent.  Not bad for an actor who was originally only intended to be featured in a handful of episodes.

(As a sidenote, last year's winner for supporting actor -- Terry O'Quinn -- failed to make the top ten this year.  That's really not surprising to me as there was only one truly Locke-centric episode this season of Lost and that one was probably a bit too out there for a lot of Academy voters.  Still, it is surprising and disappointing to see that Henry Ian Cusick failed to make the top ten.  Also, I would have loved to see the names of Jeremy Davies, Harold Perrineau, and Jeff Fahey in either the supporting and guest actor finalists.  The fact that Emerson and Naveen Andrews are the only two Lost performers to show up in the semifinals would lead me to suspect that Lost will probably be snubbed overall.)

Best Drama Actress

Minnie Driver for The Riches

Mariska Hargitay for Law and Order: Special Victims Unit

Elisabeth Moss for Mad Men

Kyra Sedgwick for The Closer

Jeanne Tripplehorn for Big Love

I have a feeling that the actual award will be won by Glenn Close for Damages.  To be honest, I found her performance to be rather overrated.  When it comes to rewarding a respect film actress for lowering herself to the grind of a weekly series, I find myself leaning more towards Driver and Sedgwick.  As I believe I gave my hypothetical Emmy to Sedgwick last year, this year it goes to Driver.

Best Drama Actor

Gabriel Byrne for In Treatment

Michael C. Hall for Dexter

Eddie Izzard for The Riches

Hugh Laurie for House

Denis Leary for Rescue Me

Out of the five, Byrne probably deserves the award but I'll be honest.  In Treatment, as a television show, really turned me off.  I thought it was -- almost always -- very well performed by a lot of actors who deserved better material.  There's a strangely smug vibe to the writing of In Treatment and after watching an episode, it's hard not to feel as if you've just had the show's creators screaming "See!?  See!?  THIS IS QUALITY TELEVISION, GODDAMMIT!" in your ear for the past thirty minutes.  It gets a bit annoying after the fifth minute.  So, unfair as it may be, I simply cannot bring myself to give this show any imaginary awards.  Besides, in the long run, I think that Michael C. Hall's creepy yet sympathetic turn as Dexter will actually probably hold up better in the long run.  The genius of Hall's performance is that he manages to make Dexter a convincing sociopath while at the same time convincing us that that all of his friends and coworkers actually wouldn't notice this fact.

Now, moving onto the comedy categories:

Best Guest Actress Comedy:

Edie Falco for 30 Rock

Carrie Fisher for 30 Rock

Viveca A. Fox for Curb Your Enthusiasm

Amy Ryan for The Office

Sarah Silverman for Monk

Same problem here as with Guest Actor Drama.  I've only seen six of the ten performances.  Why did Carrie Fisher get my nomination instead of Elaine Stritch?  Probably because Fisher played her role as an exaggerated version of what so many of us secretly suspect she's probably like in real life and that took a certain amount of guts.  As for the actual imaginary Emmy, my first instinct was to give it to Amy Ryan who has been one of my favorite actresses ever since I first saw her during the second season of The Wire.  However, there's really no way that I can't give the award to Viveca A. Fox.  Quite honestly, Fox was the last actress I ever expected to see on a show like Curb Your Enthusiasm and the fact that she not only survived in the show's format but thrived is reason enough to give her the Emmy.

Best Supporting Actress Comedy

Conchata Ferrell for Two and a Half Men

Jenna Fischer for The Office

Jane Krakowski for 30 Rock

Elizabeth Perkins for Weeds

Amy Poelher for Saturday Night Live

As an Office fan, my instant inclination is always to give the award to Fischer and she deserved to win last year.  However, I'm not totally sure that she deserves to win this year.  That's not a criticism of her performance as much as it is an acknowledgment of the fact that the writer's strike cut the season short and, as a result, she really never got to dominate any episodes the way she did the previous season.  But then again, this is an imaginary award that I'm giving out here and the fact of the matter is that I am an Office fan, Fischer remains adorable, and she had a lot of great, small moments this season (trying to play table tennis with Kelly, exploring her old high school, and actually feeling sympathy for Dwight) so -- sorry, Conchata Ferrell who would have gotten it otherwise -- the nonexistent Emmy goes to Jenna Fischer!

Best Comedy Actress

Christina Applegate for Samantha Who?

Tina Fey for 30 Rock

Julia Louis-Dreyfus for The New Adventures of Old Christine

Mary-Louise Parker for Weeds

Sarah Silverman for The Sarah Silverman Project

Applegate's nomination has a lot to do with the fact that I refused to nominate any of the Desperate Housewives.  (No offense to any of them as they all, especially Marcia Cross and Teri Hatcher, deserve to be one a better show.)  As for the actual award -- Sarah Silverman, hands down.

And finally...

Best Comedy Actor

Steve Carrell for The Office

Jermaine Clement for Flight of the Conchords

Kevin Connolly for Entourage

Larry David for Curb Your Enthusiasm

Bret McKenzie for Flight of the Conchords

Now, here's the thing.  As of right now, O'Neil only has the names of eight of the ten semifinalists.  Carrel and David are the only two on that list.  Of the two final names, Connolly, Clement, and McKenzie are among the many names being tossed around.  For that reason, I decided to go ahead and give my fake nominations to these three.  As for who would actually win...well, let's open up the envelope...and the winner is...WE HAVE A TIE!  Jermaine Clement and Bret McKenzie for Flight of the Conchords!

Seriously, who wouldn't want to hear that acceptance speech?

 

Tonight's Life Lesson

You know you're bored when you actually realize that you've just sat through two hours of Baby Swap and the first fifteen minutes of Celebrity Circus. 

The lesson?

As a hobby, watching television is not all that it's cracked up to be.

Don S. Davis, R.I.P.

Actor Don S. Davis died on June 29th.  He was sixty-five years old.

Don Davis was one of those character actors who became a recognizable face even if only a few viewers were really aware of who he was.  If any television show needed someone who could be convincing as an intimidating authority figure, chances are that Don Davis would at least be in the running for the part.  The bald, heavy-set actor actually was -- I believe -- a military veteran and, not surprisingly, he ended up playing a lot of officers over the course of his career.  His best role was as Garland Briggs on Twin Peaks.  The father of Bobby Briggs (the drug dealer boyfriend of the murdered Laura Palmer), Maj. Briggs started out the show as something of a parody.  He was never seen out of his uniform, his manner was always aloof, and he was strict disciplinarian.  As the show progressed, it became obvious that Davis was in on the joke and he brought a rather sly and subtle sense of humor to this character.  As a result, Maj. Briggs -- rather unexpectedly -- became one of my favorite characters on the show. 

Over the show's brief run, it was revealed that Maj. Briggs -- among other things -- was also a veteran of Project Blue Book (and remember, this was a few years before the X-Files came along and made it cool for every TV show to start incorporating various conspiracy theories into their own mythology).  By the final episode, he was firmly established as one of the show's "heroes," an ally of such fondly remembered characters as Sheriff Truman, the Log Lady, Dale Cooper, and Albert Rosenfield.

Not bad for a character who, when first introduced, appeared to be little more than a stereotypical bad parent! 

And the majority of the credit has to go to Don S. Davis, an actor who managed to bring enough shades of gray to a black-and-white character that the character itself found new life.  That's a talent that distinguishes adequate actors from great actors.

Don S. Davis, R.I.P.

Jeff's Latest Emmy Nods

We're rapidly approaching the announcement date for the latest Primetime Emmy Nominations.  The TV Academy has released the list of the top ten semifinalists for both Best Comedy and Best Drama.  That list -- along with the specific episode that was submitted this time around for consideration -- can be read here.

It's an interesting list, a mix of the usual mediocre suspects (shows like Boston Legal and Grey's Anatomy that have never done much for me personally), the diamonds-in-the-rough (shows like the Office, 30 Rock, and Lost), and a few shows that elitist snobs like me always assumed were too brilliant for the Emmy judges to understand (The Wire, finally mentioned if not ultimately nominated).   

The biggest surprise, for me, was the appearance of The Family Guy in the comedy top ten.  I'm not a huge fan of the Family Guy.  On the whole, I pretty much agree with South Park's analysis of the show.  To me, the show's constantly crude humor is somewhat tiresome and the plots of each episode, far too often, only serves to remind of other better animated cartoons. 

Far too often, the Family Guy is the Soap to The Simpson's Mary Hartmann Mary Hartmann.

Of course, it should be noted that Soap scored multiple nominations (but no wins) for Best Comedy Series during its run while Mary Hartmann received not one.

And, it should also be noted, that individual episodes of The Family Guy are often quite hilarious.  It's only after you've seen several episodes that the show starts to grow tiresome. 

Of course, it should also be noted that the Emmys are different from the Oscars in that each nominee is required to submit their work for consideration if they want that consideration.  In other words, it's not as if the Emmy judges are simply turning on their TV and taking notes.  They are watching episodes that were specifically submitted for consideration in specific categories by specific potential nominees.  The creator of the Family Guy, Seth McFarlane, took a big chance by submitting his show for Best Comedy and, so far, it looks like it might actually pay off for him.  I'm not sure if the creators of The Simpsons, King of the Hill, or South Park have ever submitted their shows in that category or if they've simply chosen to remain content with competing for Best Animated Program. 

So, perhaps until those facts are clarified, it would be a good idea to hold back on any more bile directed towards the possibility of Family Guy competing for Best Comedy.

Anyway, after looking over the top ten contenders in each category, here's what I would have ended up nominating.  (I should note that, since I'm not a member of the Academy, I will be judging based on each show's entire season as opposed to just one episode.)

Staring with Best Drama, my nominees would be:

Dexter

House

Lost

Mad Men

The Wire

Dexter, on the whole, will probably be a bit too extreme for the judges.  Lost might make it back since the episode submitted (The Constant) was one of the best of last year (and one of the few episodes to contain the closest that Lost ever gets to a complete 60-minute story arc).  Mad Men appears to be poised to get the Miami Vice/Moonlighting/Twin Peaks slot of the much buzzed-about show that will never land another nomination after it's first season.  House should return if just because it's amazingly cranky lead character disguises the fact that House is actually one of the more "traditional" shows on television today.  As for The Wire, I would be shocked to see it nominated.  At least not on the basis of just one episode.  The Wire was a show that required constant and faithful viewing.  In order to get the impact of each individual episode, the viewer had to be able to consider it against the series as a whole.  Unfortunately, that is exactly what the Emmy process prevents the judges from doing.  Still, hopefully, enough of the judges will have seen the entire series and will be willing to ignore "the rules."

Out of those five, my winner would probably be The Wire. Honestly, I felt that the last season of the Wire was probably its weakest.  The whole newspaper subplot never really came alive and the whole fake serial killer plot thread (while done well and brilliantly acted by Dominic West) was, at time, almost a bit too cute for The Wire.  If I was actually being strict in my judging here, I'd give the award to Lost.  But, I'm not being strict and, as I said, The Wire is a show that can only be properly judged on the basis of the entire series as opposed to individual episodes or even individual seasons.  And, when taken on that basis, there's no way I could pick any show other than The Wire as the best of the previous season.

Best Comedy:

Curb Your Enthusiasm

Entourage

Flight of the Conchords

The Office

30 Rock

Okay, first off.  Flight of the Conchords is one of the most hilarious shows that I've ever seen.  It will not be nominated.  It's probably a bit too quirky for the judges. The Office is one of my favorite TV shows but I also think that it really suffered this year from the writer's strike.  Obviously, the season's storyline was meant to be much longer than just 13 episodes (or however many ended up airing).  As a result, a lot of the show's plotlines (Ryan's hooked on cocaine and out to get Jim, Jan and Michael are breaking up) seemed a bit too rushed.  Still, this season provided it's share of priceless moments (my favorite episode was the hilariously awkward Deposition) and it deserves to be nominated if not necessarily to win.  That pretty much also sums up my feelings towards 30 Rock.  Curb Your Enthusiasm was as uncomfortable a viewing experience as ever but I thought this season was one of its best (almost making up for that whole Producers season) and the show deserves some credit for finally revealing what would actually happen to all of these sitcom boorish husband/perfect wife marriages in real life.  Lastly, Entourage is one of those shows that I'm always surprised to discover is actually a pretty good show.  Last season's arc about the ultimately unsuccessful struggle to create a good film out of Medellin was wonderfully executed.

So, five strong contenders.  It's actually hard for me to narrow it down to one winner so I'll just give the award to the show that kept me consistently laughing throughout the entire course of its season.  And the winner is...

Flight of the Conchords!

We can only wish...

Vice President Bill Gates and Other American Tragedies

I haven't really paid too much attention to the Politico ever since the whole "John-Edwards-Is-Withdrawing-From-The-Race-To-Take-Care-Of-His-Wife" fiasco last year.

(Though I should add that those of us who have been following the political career of John Edwards should have been smart enough to realize that there was no way John Edwards was going to let Elizabeth's health get in the way of his own ambitions...)

(But I digress...)

That said, the Politico has partially redeemed itself in my eyes with an entertaining and amusing article on some longshots in both the Republican and Democratic veepstakes.

The article deals with a few of the more unconventional names that have been mentioned by various political insiders and consultants as possible running mates for either John McCain or Barack Obama.  It's become something of a tradition to toss out at least one totally out-of-left-field name (usually a private citizen) into any veepstakes.  I think it actually started back in 1972 when George McGovern (however briefly) gave some consideration to Walter Cronkite.  Since then, we've seen all sorts of unlikely prospects given consideration. 

The all-time champion of giving consideration to surprising longshots would have to be Walter Mondale who, back in 1984, ended up interviewing a lot of mayors (Dianne Feinstien of San Francisco, Henry Cisneros of San Antonio, Tom Bradley of Los Angeles, W. Wilson Goode of Philadelphia, Kathy Whitmire of Houston) along with the usual white, male suspects (Michael Dukakis, Lloyd Bentsen, and Dale Bumpers in this case).  Mondale, however, also showed the dangers of interviewing too many longshots.  Since no one seriously believed that he would select a Mayor as his running mate (Goode, for his part, had been in office less than a year at the time), it soon started to appear as if Mondale was pandering to special interests.  When he then proceeded to pick a running mate (Geraldine Ferraro) who was a part of the one of the most vocal special interests in the Democratic Party (the Feminist movement), no one took his historic choice all that seriously.

The names mentioned in the Politico article as possible McCain running mates include people like Bill Gates (kiss the Mac vote goodbye), former Ebay CEO Meg Whitman (who, it must be said, would be a more logical choice than the other businesswoman who is currently being given some strangely serious attention by McCain, Carly Fiorina), Rep. Eric Cantor (not a bad idea, either), and William Cohen (who is mentioned as a running mate for McCain though this blog pegged him as a possibility for Obama a while back).

Obama's list of longshots is actually a bit less impressive than McCain's.  Among those names mentioned are Robert Rubin (if you're going to pick an overrated Clinton Cabinet member, why not Robert Reich?  At least he has a sense of humor sometimes...), Tim Roemer (a former Indiana Congressman who will never be picked because he's pro-life), Donna Shalala (uhmm...yeah...okay...seriously, DONNA SHALALA!?), and Colin Powell (it's scary to think how many people were once convinced that Colin Powell should be President.)

Actually, the most impressive potential running mate listed in the article was the man who inspired it in the first place.  That would be Rep. Chet Edwards, a Democrat from my homestate of Texas.  Speaker Nancy Pelosi apparently said that Obama should consider Edwards and, quite honestly, I'm sure some of the motivation for that suggestion was the fact that Crawford, Texas is in his district.

The national media has a tendency to call someone like Rep. Edwards a conservative but then again, the national media tends to stick that label on anyone even slightly to the right of Fidel Castro.  Edwards is a fairly liberal Democrat who has somehow managed to spend 11 years as a player in the national party without succumbing to the urge to become a rabid, foaming-at-the-mouth Leftist. 

The Politico article describes Edwards as being an "unknown."  And, that's an accurate description as far as the rest of the nation is concerned.  However, Chet Edwards -- while still relatively young -- has been a prominent player in Texas politics for over three decades now.  Before getting elected to Congress, Edwards served in the state legislature and he was one of those young politicians who was always getting mentioned as a future governor or senator.  For the most part, he was a respected lawmaker and definitely an insider.

(Hard to believe but there was a time when being an "insider" was an electoral asset.)

It's pretty much been the same story in the U.S. House except for the fact that Edwards is rarely touted for higher office (Pelosi's comments being the major exception).  He's turned out to be a hardworking, non-flashy Congressman who takes care of his district and who doesn't waste his time with the cheap publicity stunts that have come to epitomize the Pelosi Congress.

In short, Chet Edwards is the type of politician who probably could have been nominated by the old Democratic Party of Adali Stevenson and Hubert Humphrey.

But not the new Democratic Party of Bill and Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama.

And, despite being a Libertarian Republican, I have to say that's a real shame.